Friday, December 18, 2015

Always in my heart

If you've read any of this blog, you know I am a believer in signs. I never know exactly where they come from (God, the universe, mother nature), but I enjoy them and they are comforting to me. 

A few days after Amber's death I realized I needed to get out of the house. The thing about grief I've found is that you just want to curl up in a ball to cry and sleep and if anyone would tell me to snap out of that, it was Amber. So I got up, got dressed and headed to wander some of our favorite second hand stores. We had several stores in Florence and Nashville that we always explored when we were together. These stores don't have "new" items so you never know what you might find, and that is why we loved them so.

I walked in the door and the first thing I saw was a rack of Christmas ornaments and the first one was this:




Of course I burst into tears and went back home. After a few days I went back and the ornament was still hanging there waiting for me, so I came home and put up a tree to remind me that Amber is with me this Christmas. The thing is, she will always be with me, because she's in my heart and that is where I will hold her close for all of my days. I know I will cry when I think of how much I will miss her, but I will also laugh when something triggers a wonderful memory and I am so thankful I have plenty of those to treasure. 


Friendships should be cherished


We camped, we rode bikes, we laid in the grass looked at stars and dreamed, we survived zits and bad haircuts, we went to concerts, we loved Wonder Woman, we double-dated, we saw Raiders of the Lost Ark 6 times, we debated who would marry Starsky and who would marry Hutch, we were terrified of Jaws and Jason, we loved high school football games, summer camp and singing about heaven, we studied (some), we ate a lot of chicken fingers and hot fudge cakes, we sang a lot of 80s songs, we were part of the 4 musketeers (Kim, Allison, Amber, Laura), we planned reunions, we got married, we became moms, we loved watching our children grow, we had surgeries, we changed each other's dressings, we snuck each other out of the house (before medically recommended), we both dealt with cancer on our own terms, we always supported each other's decisions, we cherished our friendship, we cruised, we danced on the beach in Mexico, we rode every coaster in Orlando, we laughed a lot, we cried some and we loved each other through the ups and downs of life. 



Thank you Amber - my life was better because you lived.