Wednesday, September 8, 2010

This is NOT supposed to happen...

I got a call today that totally stopped me in my tracks. One of my friends had noticed some drainage from her nipple and we talked about it. She followed up with a mammogram. She called me after her mammogram and said "Did you know when you say, I'm having nipple discharge at a breast center it's sort of like yelling bomb at an airport?" Evidently everyone sat up, took notice and scurried around.
The mammogram ended up being inconclusive so her doctor referred her to a breast surgeon. She stopped having discharge and we were all hoping it was just some sort of funky infection in a milk duct.

Until today...she called to tell me they had the path report back and it was DCIS (ductal cancer in situ). CRAP!
I think I was a very bad friend. I was speechless. I remember saying I was sorry several times, but it was so hard to hear someone I love, someone who was there for me every step of the way saying now they have cancer too. Somehow in my warped brain I told myself that breast cancer affects 1 in 8 women. I convinced myself I had taken the bullet for my group and no one else that I loved would have to go through this. I even thought for a brief minute, maybe I have let myself have too big a circle of friends. I was wrong on all counts.

Now she has to make those decisions, do I lose one or both breasts, do I want implants or not, if I do what kind and size, nipples or nipple tattoos? Too many decisions to make on an already overloaded brain. I vow to be with her every step of this journey!

You know who you are, and I will be walking for you on October 9th. When you are ready for the world to know your journey, I will hold your hand as you tell your story!

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